The Driver's Round: What to Drink at the Black Lion When You're Behind the Wheel

Every pub trip has one. The person who has the car keys, who waves away the round, who spends the evening holding a half-pint of something pale and sad while everyone else gets on with it.

That is a poor deal, and it is a needlessly bad one. The drinks are out there. What follows is a working guide to the driver's side of the bar — what to order, what to avoid, and how to run a day on Anglesey so that being the sober one is not the same as missing out.

First, the boring bit: know your numbers

UK labelling is genuinely confusing, so here it is in one place.

• Alcohol-free means 0.05% ABV or less. In practice, effectively nothing.
• De-alcoholised means 0.5% ABV or less. A ripe banana is roughly in the same territory.
• Low alcohol means 1.2% ABV or less.

Nothing in the alcohol-free fridge is a driving risk in any realistic quantity. That said, if you are pregnant, on medication or simply prefer a hard zero, ask for the 0.0% options specifically — some alcohol-free beers are brewed then gently de-alcoholised, and a few use a small amount of alcohol in the process.

The fridge deserves the same care as the cellar

Here is our firmly held opinion: an alcohol-free beer treated badly is worse than no alcohol-free beer at all. Warm, poured into a scratchy glass, flat, no head. It is no wonder people order a lemonade instead.

Served properly — properly cold, in the right shape of glass, with a bit of head on it — the good ones are genuinely worth drinking. Look for crisp pilsner-style 0.0% lagers, hoppy alcohol-free IPAs, dark malty stouts, and the German wheat beers at 0.5% that have been doing this well for decades. Ask what is on. If your pub cannot tell you what is in the fridge and seems faintly irritated by the question, that tells you something.

The Welsh soft shelf

This is where Anglesey does unexpectedly well, because Wales has a serious soft-drinks habit of its own.

• Welsh spring water. Chilled, in a glass, with ice and a slice. Underrated and always right.
• Elderflower pressé. The one that converts people. Long, cold, a squeeze of lime, lots of ice.
• Cloudy apple juice. Welsh orchards, decent acidity, works with food far better than a cola.
• Ginger beer. The fiery sort, not the sweet sort. Lime is not optional.
• Dandelion and burdock. Marmite in liquid form, apparently, but those who love it really love it.

The driver's cocktail list

Not a cocktail list in the fancy sense. Just things worth ordering that happen to contain no alcohol at all.

The long elderflower. Elderflower pressé, soda water, lots of ice, a wedge of lime, mint if there is any. Built in a tall glass. This is the drink that stops you feeling like an afterthought.

Salted something. Tomato juice over ice with a stick of celery, black pepper and a salted rim — a pinch of Anglesey sea salt on the edge of the glass. Savoury, sharp, and it holds its own against a plate of food.

Tonic, built properly. A good tonic in a proper stemmed glass with ice and lime is a perfectly serious drink. It only becomes depressing when it is sloshed into a half-pint tumbler with no ice.

A pot of tea. Yes, really. A pot, a proper cup, no rush. There are worse ways to end a coastal afternoon.

One caution: bitters and soda is not alcohol-free, and a dash of Angostura in a soft drink does carry a trace. Tiny, but there. If you want a clean zero, say so at the bar.

How to order without the inquest

Order first. Lead with it: "I'm driving, so — what's good that's alcohol-free?" Bars hear this every day and nobody will think less of you. Two practical tips from the other side of the counter:

1. Get your drink early. Order your first before the round gets complicated, and you avoid the confusion of a pint being set in front of you by mistake.
2. Never let someone buy you a surprise. A quiet word when you arrive is much easier than refusing a drink you did not ask for.

The driver's round is also an underrated social move. Being the one who goes to the bar, remembers what everyone is drinking and comes back with it correctly is far more use to the group than another pint would be.

The shape of a good driver's day

Because the driver is, by necessity, the one who plans. A few habits worth adopting on Ynys Môn.

• Drive to the walk, not the pub. Park up, get the leg-stretch in first, then settle in. You will enjoy the second half far more than if you arrive already stiff from the car.
• Check the tide. Several of the best walks here only work at low water, and the tide does not wait for lunch.
• Respect the lanes. Single-track roads, high hedges, and passing places that require reversing. Take it slowly, and remember that a hire car full of people is not a rally car.
• Plan the light. In November the useful daylight runs roughly nine to four. A late-afternoon walk and a dark drive home is a much better day than the reverse.
• Eat properly. The driver is the one who has to stay sharp. Order the bigger plate. Nobody will judge you, and you will be the only one still able to read a road sign at nine o'clock.

The verdict

Lukewarm lemonade was never good enough, and the excuse for it has gone. If you are the one holding the keys, you are also the one holding the evening together. Ask for something cold, in a decent glass, made with a bit of thought. You have earned it more than anyone at the table.